1 October 2015
Caldadilla de la Cueza
“Recalculating”
It has been two days of flat, level trails, and I’ve had the
most blessed company. During the day I
walked with the two wonderful Brazilians, Jeff and Andreia. It was more
counseling stories and advice seasoned with lots of laughter. I really treasured their company. I also have been staying at albergues that
two new wonderful friends have been arranging by reservation. They are Tom and Norma Hearn from Las
Vegas. I tend to walk much faster in the
day so I hold the bottom bunks for us as I arrive, then we share conversation
and meals in the evening. Good teamwork!
I am eager to share the conversation I had with Jeff and
Andreia that has had two days now to marinate. They make use of a body of
research used in counseling that is called “Drivers.” These are the 5 Drivers that operate
distinctly in people’s outlook and motivation in how they conduct their life.
Perfection
Hurry up
Try hard
Be pleasant so that you will like me
Be strong
In a simplistic way, the research suggests that people have
a tendency to have at least two of these “Drivers” operating in their life at
any given time. As they explained, none
of these “Drivers” are inherently bad.
We have a natural tendency toward any and all of these. They evolve
within us due to our past experiences, family upbringing, and in past successes
using the “Driver” as an effective tool in managing through life.
All of us, at one time or another, get overconsumed with a
“Driver” in our life. Doing a work
correctly gets escalated into doing work “Perfectly.” Project after project
grows with such importance that we exaggerate the need for the results to be
nothing short of “perfect.”
Hurry up is a “Driver” that goes beyond finishing in a
timely fashion to the point of operating at a frantic pace of hurry, hurry,
hurry with each activity in life. The
faster pace of accomplishing more and more things becomes almost a drug. When
things are being accomplished at impressive speeds, it excites us to point that
we act like race car drivers with our “To Do” lists. This “Driver” artificially
pushes and stresses the day. We can hate the Hurry Up pace, but something
within says, “I’ll never survive all of the demands on my life unless I
“Hurry!”
Who could not agree that to “Try Hard” is not a respectable
and valued manner of operating through life?
Where it becomes a “Driver” is when tasks that are realistically way too
much to for one to accomplish is looked at as achievable if I but only “Try
Hard, or Harder.” Work load at work
doubles due to downsizing, pressure from family to help beyond time availability,
home projects that must be done by a time limit, and overwhelmingly physically
demanding tasks are some examples. Out of love for another or fierce dedication
the “Driver” successfully consumes us to believe that only “Trying Hard, or
Harder” will bring success.
The “Driver: Be Pleasant” might sound confusing. This good quality becomes a “Driver” when “Pleasantness”
becomes a mode of operation only so that you will like me or think so highly of
me. It becomes an obsession with being
so nice, no matter what is happening within me, so that you can only see me as
such a good person. The “Driver” pushes
from within largely so that the person will hear other say, “Oh how nice, how
sweet, what a beautiful person he/she is.” Being “Pleasant” is driven out of
fear someone might discover an example of unpleasantness and ruin the
reputation.
“Be strong” is an inspirational calling. Strength is admired and people will pay
whatever cost to grow strong. Where it
becomes a “Driver” is when one displays a false front in order to prove that
he/she is strong. We could be sick with
cancer, have a death or grieving in which to cope, overwhelming personal stress
and challenges, but the “Driver” within says, “No time for those personal weaknesses.
Just be strong.”
Have any of these “Drivers” resonated within you? As I
learned of them I recognized a need for a new 12 Step Program. Imagine the
meeting of Drivers Anonymous. “Hello. My name is Willie and I’m a Driver.” Now
you. Repeat after me. “My name is (insert your name). And I’m a Driver.”
What can be done when I’ve come to admit the truth that one
of the “Drivers” is or has been consuming aspects of my life? You have a
destination for your life programmed on your heart’s GPS. The truth of one of these “Drivers” has been
barking with each wrong turn, “Recalculating.” Maybe you’ve done what I’ve
done: Kept “Driving” through more side roads, back alleys, and sometimes hit
the superhighway barreling in the wrong direction.
The insights on “Drivers” has done for me what I pray it
will do for you. Stop and listen to your heart’s GPS. It may also be screaming,
“Recalculating!” I have been consumed by the Drivers of Perfection and Try Hard
to exaggerated frenzies in my life. Once
again, the elements in the list are not evil in them self. What is damaging is how slyly I/we fall prey
to being driven by them.
First, I must admit the Driver is me. These five elements
become destructive at my own hands.
Second, I need to listen carefully to where my heart’s GPS
is screaming “Recalculating.” I can and
should ask someone who loves and cares about me to help me see how I got
misdirected.
Third, I find answers in the healthy spiritual drivers in
the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5:3-12. I can be blessed when I’m perfectly
driven to be poor in spirit, perfectly driven toward meekness, to be strong
enough to mourn, to be strong in the cause of righteousness, to be
authentically pleasant only to make peace, to hurry up in the desire to be
clean of heart.
These Jesus proverbs in the Beatitudes are holy Drivers for
my/our life. I/we need only to listen to the heart’s GPS to hear His voice
beckoning, “Recalculating.”
Redirected in Him,
Deacon Willie, DW
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