Deacon Willie's Camino Pilgrimage
Monday, May 14, 2018
Thunder
Thunder
May 14, 2018
Santiago
What a pure gift my pilgrimage has been. I am humbled and overflowing with gratitude
for all of the ways God has brought people into my life before, during, and
presently at this holy shrine. I’ve spent a great time in reflection on
how I will end this blog. Here is my story. Here is my heart. Here, our call to
God’s whispers in our soul. Allow me a brief personal history.
My call to walk my first Camino came during intimate
prayer time. March 23, 2012 was the first surprise. I won’t go into the detail,
but somewhere during contemplation I had a moment when the Camino burst into my
awareness. I could go on and on about
the moment, but the most precious experience from that spiritual experience was
a mighty and certain and heart-compelling moment when I heard God speak to me.
Well, it was more like a power embedded in a whisper. It came in two words, “Have
faith.”
This has been a prayer mantra for me every day
since. It empowered not only my first
Camino. It has pushed me in ministry to do what I never thought I could ever
do. It has been a force to go beyond myself. And, it came in His mighty whisper,
“Have faith.”
I returned from that Camino so humbled and grateful
to share the insights and experiences of life while on a 500 mile walking
pilgrimage. I thought it was a one and done deal. Two years later in fall 2015,
again during a deep moment in prayer, a new whisper drifted powerfully into my
spirit. I can only say that God spoke to me to return to the Camino, again.
Yep, I was being called to walk all 500 miles again. He whispered these irresistible
words into my soul, “I have so much more to tell you.” I know full well what
this means.
After serious prayer, my wife and I agreed that I
was to accept God’s call. I walked the Camino and His offer was so cherished. I
do so love the uninterrupted time to reflect on His goodness while walking in
all His breath-taking creation. It is the 24/7 silence and uninterrupted prayer
I grew to treasure. His whispered offer was abundantly made true. When I “shut
up and listen” there is room for listening for more of Him.
Returning from the second pilgrimage was to be my last. What more could God want me to
gain while walking again? My life ambition is to complete a book of my Camino
experiences. I was 13 chapters into the book when some life demands put the writing
on hold. When I tried to return to the writing, my memory of Camino faded with
the two year hiatus.
The God of surprises had a new calling for me to
walk the last 200 miles of the Camino from Leon to Santiago. This took on a serious discernment. I was
older, and I well knew the sacrifice of what was ahead. Leaving my precious
wife for three weeks was a big sacrifice. However, when God calls, I must
listen. And listen I did, to yet another compelling God whisper captured in
these words, “Catch the thunder.”
That might sound odd to most, but it strikes a
profound note in my heart of hearts. You see, I have a riveted inspiration in St. James and his brother, St. John. Jesus found something enduring about them
enough to provide a nickname for them in Mark 3, “Men of Thunder.” To say that
the idea of those boys being identified with something as bold as thunder can only suggest that there must
have been nothing timid about them. Thunder is loud, it announces something
bigger ahead, it is attention-getting, it makes one stop and listen. Thunder
is power.
Can you see how this out of nowhere God whisper, “Catch the thunder” would arrest my
attention? I was completely consumed in this new calling.
That’s a bit of the history. Now the best part. It
is May 13, 2018. I am vested as a deacon and about to serve on the altar at the
Cathedral of Santiago, my thunderous hero.
Who would have known what would happen on this day, and only at this pilgrim mass. It is a special
celebration of Feast of the Ascension, and yes, St. James, my hero, “man thunder” is being paraded among the faithful as the one who was faithful to Christ as He arose at the Ascension. The image of St. James was leading us in worship of the One whom he followed, served, and was beheaded in faithfulness (Acts 12:2) The service was to honor Jesus, but the life example of James was leading our way.
For my whole life, I will never forget this moment.
I vested with six priests and another deacon from Portugal, praise God, he
spoke Spanish and English. He and I led the procession immediately behind a
glass encased bust of St. James resting on long, horizontal, wood poles that
secured it. Four men carried the bust of the apostle's image on their
shoulders. In front of them was a male cantor
with a professional and deep voice leading song. Before him was a small band of
bassoons and French horns. This blared a melody I never before or would have
imagined played together so commandingly.
Filling the musical air above the band and singing was one of Europe’s
prized pipe organs. Known for its 200 plus pipes, its notes rattled fifty foot high arches
built in the year 1078 (that’s more 400 years before Columbus!)
Now the wow part- the ritual of the Botafumeiro, the giant incensor that stands three and half foot tall by two foot wide was ignited. The eight servers prepared this silver vessel carrying flaming coals and billowing clouds of incense, hoisted this "spreader of fumes" allowing it to swing like a pendulum fifty feet to one side of church nearly fifty feet to the cathedral's ceiling. The free swinging movement allowed it to raced with speed and momentum fifty feet to the other side and another fifty feet to the ceiling on the other side of the church. It was spellbinding.
Now imagine being in the procession while the botafumeiro was roaring just eight feet over your head? The silver vessel gleamed from the raging charcoal flames inside and the spewing cloud of incense. I stood directly beneath this with my mouth agape while sweet-smelling incense sifted from above for me to breath in. It was such a rare gift.
In front of this small band was one tall young man carrying a long silver staff. In a perfect cadence to the progression of music and all behind him in procession, he would stop with all going silent. He would then pound the staff dramatically on the marble floor. Its sound was a startling distinction, alarming, and demanded attention. After a short pause, the ensemble would continue.
Now imagine being in the procession while the botafumeiro was roaring just eight feet over your head? The silver vessel gleamed from the raging charcoal flames inside and the spewing cloud of incense. I stood directly beneath this with my mouth agape while sweet-smelling incense sifted from above for me to breath in. It was such a rare gift.
In front of this small band was one tall young man carrying a long silver staff. In a perfect cadence to the progression of music and all behind him in procession, he would stop with all going silent. He would then pound the staff dramatically on the marble floor. Its sound was a startling distinction, alarming, and demanded attention. After a short pause, the ensemble would continue.
This procession within the Cathedral of Santiago thundered with song, music, organ pipes
so loud the notes rattled in your chest. The sharp striking of the staff echoing
off the ceiling and reverence of nearly 2000 worshipers leaning over for photos
was all too humbling. My senses were on overload so I worked so hard to memorize everything I saw, heard, and smelt.
Then an inspiration laced in emotion washed over me while taking in all I was experiencing during this service. I can but describe it as something from the Holy Spirit. Do I dare call it a holy thunder? It rolled above me, behind me, around me, beneath me, while encircling me. As one of the first in the procession, I was catching thunder deep in my soul. I stole a quick flashback to my God whisper. Yes, yes, yes! This was the gift He had planned for me in His whisper, “Catch the thunder.” God's timing is perfect. It's never early, never late. His perfect timing allowed me to experience a holy thunder, body and spirit, in the Cathedral of Santiago and on the Feast of the Ascension!
Then an inspiration laced in emotion washed over me while taking in all I was experiencing during this service. I can but describe it as something from the Holy Spirit. Do I dare call it a holy thunder? It rolled above me, behind me, around me, beneath me, while encircling me. As one of the first in the procession, I was catching thunder deep in my soul. I stole a quick flashback to my God whisper. Yes, yes, yes! This was the gift He had planned for me in His whisper, “Catch the thunder.” God's timing is perfect. It's never early, never late. His perfect timing allowed me to experience a holy thunder, body and spirit, in the Cathedral of Santiago and on the Feast of the Ascension!
I am profoundly humbled. I am blessed. I am
loved. I am His.
When I step back and look at this whole history of
God whispers and His calling me to the Camino, a new insight is born. I string all
three together: “Have faith, I have so much more to tell you. Catch the
Thunder.”
These are three pearls of grace I do not take
lightly. Nor should we ever take the graces God puts in our life lightly.
Though some might read this final reflection and think, “Well, that’s nice for
you, but I’ve never had that. God doesn’t speak to me. I’ve never had a God
whisper.”
I get it. I can only share my truth in hopes it
leads you to find truth in your journey of faith.
That point made, let me make some things clear.
Hearing God’s call is an infrequent gift to me. I seek it, but I don’t get
these callings regularly. God whispers are undeniable, but they are not for me
every day, every week, or every month experiences. These experiences are graces
God offers as He chooses. There is no spiritual cause and effect routine for
receiving them.
However, there are some things on my part in which I
can cooperate with grace. There are even some things I can do to be more
receptive to receiving His grace. I feel compelled to offer these.
Four
for Our Camino:
First, I must have the desire to hear God speak to
me. Sounds simple, but there are times I’m not honestly sure I want to hear Him
tell me to do something different than what I’m enjoying right then. I might say I desire to hear God speak, but I
don’t allow myself to be in a spiritual posture to receive it. Sometimes I find
myself resistant, so I pray that God would give me the desire to desire whatever
He wants to speak to my heart. That’s right, desire the desire. That is a
prayer posture that starts a new momentum in a spiritual quagmire of me, me,
me.
Second, once I’ve prayed for the desire, I need to
examine my own conscience. I ask, is
there some unconfessed and/or grave sin I have not “manned up” and addressed? Owning
my faults and asking God for forgiveness clears the ear canals of grace. I cannot hear with a wax build up. Ear wax is
like sin. God wants to speak to me, but my ears are plugged with sin.
Confessing my sins clears my hearing. Some wax may have festered and hardened
by years of denial and passionate protection of my ego. This makes me deaf to
God’s voice.
Third, I ask myself if I’m really listening. Thomas
Keating’s quote always reminds me to temper my prayer time. He said, “God’s
first language is silence; everything else is a poor translation.” I can get
caught up in reciting prayers, reading inspirational messages, even reading the
scripture without being mindful of whom I’m reading about. What I call prayer
time can be more academic and mentally stimulating, a kind of spiritual mind
candy. If I’m not mindful, what I call prayer time may not be attentive toward
my relationship with Him. Don’t get me wrong, I need all those prayers and
certainly the scriptures. However, I fall deaf of Him when I allow it all to be
detached from relationship with Christ.
Finally, I can get caught up with my expectation for
God to speak during my prayer time. It’s like, “Ok, God, let’s talk, I’ll
listen and tell me what you want me to do today.” I might try to
compartmentalize God’s time to talk when I scheduled it. Many times I hear
nothing. Nothing. That’s ok because He just loves being with me. And the truth
is, I love just hanging out with Him.
He can whisper a calling to me any time in my day.
He whispers encouragement and love messages in your day as well. Some will be gentle and soft. And maybe, just
maybe, you will receive one that strikes you like thunder.
Here’s my encouragement. Go, catch the thunder. It
will roll ahead of you. Thunder comes before the storm. And His is a storm of
love.
Be prepared. Listen. God’s whispers might be a
rolling thunder within you right now.
I end my Camino with my favorite quote that I hope inspires you.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We were born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our Light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others."
Nelson Mandella
Ultreia, Deacon Willie
Saturday, May 12, 2018
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