Sunday, May 6, 2018

The Desires of OUR heart



The Desires of OUR Hearts

May 6, 2018
Samos to Sarria

I left the town of the famed monastery to walk what is claimed to be the trail through an enchanted forest.  The trail snaked along immense cypress trees whose girth was a good four foot in diameter. These were 100’s of years old, and many were being strangled harmlessly by dense poison ivy vines.  Along the way there were ancient trees that sagged over the trail creating an interesting path to follow. Not only these, there were captivating little waterfalls here and there to allow a moment to drink in the quaint and soothing sound of  God’s creation. All of today’s walk was truly enchanting.

My Camino reflection was captivated by inspired teaching of two men wealthy in spiritual advice and humility.  It was the research into St. Ignatius’ Spiritual Exercises by Fr. Rick Mc Gurn SJ. and Fr. Bill Creed SJ. Fr. Rick offered a captivating possibility. He said, “Maybe the thought we have was first God’s thought.  Maybe what I was thinking was actually God speaking to me.”

This brings a whole new world to mind when it comes to prayer.  I typically believed that my thoughts were arrived at solely on my own.  That is, I was the sole orchestrator of what I wanted to talk to God about.  He would respond to what I was talking to Him about. When I went to Him about my desires, about my petitions, about my dreams, it was me sharing these and then my waiting to hear what His response would be.

Fr. Rick’s advice opens a whole new paradigm.  We believe that God is dynamic and relational, therefore whatever I talk to Him about, He already knows.  And maybe, what I believed was my holy desire, petition, and dream was actually what Our Lord initiated within me. In this, I would not be the initiator, but the responder to what God had already planted within me. Hmmmmmm?

Here’s another way to look at it.  Remember the television show MASH?  It was largely a comedy show with a setting at an Army medical hospital in South Korea.  There was a character on the show I’d like to highlight, Radar O’Reilly, the company clerk.  He was given the nickname “Radar” because he was already ahead of what the base Colonel would say or need to do.  He read the mind of whom he worked with so closely that the show humorously captured Radar saying the thoughts of the Colonel before he could say them.  Their thoughts were the same. They just occurred in a time lapse of moments within the conversation.

I don’t want to diminish the power of God to a comedy show character, or by any stretch of the imagination  compare God go Radar. But, maybe that may help with a bit of a simplified illustration of how God speaks in prayer? It is not so my talking to God, but us conversing. I still have the free will to reject what He is offering, but what joy it is in that moment of intimate prayer when the strong sense is there when my holy desire is God’s holy desire. 

Of course, this needs much training in discernment of spirits of consolation and desolation.  His voice can be lost or misunderstood.  Prayer alone filters our selfish desires from holy desires.
Today it was a captivating prayer time considering that what I took to the Lord as a goal to walk the Camino again, was, in fact, his goal speaking that same wish just before I was certain enough to utter it to Him. My Camino, “Yes” was actually a response to His goal for me planted there well in advance.

I saw my relationship with Him different today.  It was far more than me praying my heart’s desire. I see it now, my heart desires are actually his heart desires. That is precisely where spiritual beauty lives-when the desires are in both of OUR hearts.

What are the holy desires in your heart? Are you unsure if you should even be asking God about desires? Well, holy desires are rooted in His desires.  Take courage. Have that heart-to-heart talk with  Him. He has already searched your heart and has planted His heart’s desire for you there.

Fondly, Deacon Willie

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