God,my way

God, My Way

April 29, 2018

Astorga-Rabanal del Camino

It was another outrageously blessed day on the Camino.  We pilgrims had to really suit up in the morning in preparation for rain and possible snow that was in the forecast.  I walked under heavy cloud cover and along breathtaking mountain landscapes.  I walked alone today, well not alone alone. I walked with the Creator of all this beauty. 

As I walk, I find myself chasing Him. “What do you want to talk to me about Lord? What are your desires to share with me today? I am listening.”

It seems like a nice and faith-filled prayer posture. Right? But the Holy Spirit is a gentlemen and doesn’t interrupt the chatter in my head. So I must wait, and wait, and walk and walk. Like in the Star Wars film when the fighting fleet enters the death star on route to the fire on the central energy source, Luke and his flight team are warned, “Wait for it. Wait for it” In the film they must stay the course until the target presents itself. That is a caution I am reminded of while beginning each Camino walk in eager anticipation for whatever the Holy Spirit’s target is for me for the day.

Well, it was not just one target today. There were three contained in thoughts, words, and a deed. The first message was so obvious I could virtually have tripped over it. There set right in the middle of the trail was a display of miscellaneous stones arranged in the shape of a heart. Hmmmmm. “Is there a message here, Lord?”  I gave myself time for a photo and to drink in the sight of it.

A short distance away the message from Ezekiel roared into my presence, “I will take from them their stony hearts and give them hearts of flesh.” This led me to reflect upon those dear hearts of people  I know and love who have such tender hearts of flesh for our Lord and those they serve. This was followed by a reflection of those who I have met and tried to mentor who have “stony hearts.” A distinct group came to mind.  You might have encountered some to whom I’m referring.

In just these two days I’ve met two people already who have said, “I’m spiritual; I’m not religious.” They announce this as a proud badge of their new faith. I’ve experienced all too commonly even with people back home. I spent a great deal of prayer time thinking about people who hold this life conviction, “I am spiritual; I’m not religious.”

My reflection led me to understand this thinking. First, those who attest to this always recite it in that order. It is a line a thinking that gives credit that they are not without belief, but believe in the spirit. When I’ve gotten into a dialogue over this thinking, I often find we have common experiences. What I share as life events when goodness surprised me at the perfect time after a prayer, those of that claim being spiritual agree. They explain that spiritual events can occur where goodness happens. Though most claim it has nothing to do with prayer or connection to God. It just . . . .happens.

The two I talked with about this matter while on the Camino shared a thinking I’ve heard from others who take this claim.  One stated, “I like when I find goodness and stories of goodness, but I don’t find anything of value in church. It’s a lot of blah, blah, blah.” There is something worth reflecting upon by churches and the faithful who practice the faith.  And then again, in regard to the “I’m spiritual” group there is something common in their message. I believe it is this, “I’m in control. And I’ll take “God, my way.” I believe there is much truth in this thinking, or should I say, this kind of believing. I’ll take this spirit when I want it, how I want it, and in the way I believe He/She  is to be. It strikes me as walking the buffet line, “I’ll take God this way, not too much of this, a lot more of this, and maybe none of that. Yep, God, my way.

These were just some of my thoughts until another clue the Spirit left in my path. It was a pair of shoes left behind by some pilgrim. I have come to the painful discovery that I forgot or left some needed item behind while on the Camino.  But a pair of shoes?! How sad for a pilgrim! I chose to carry them the 10km ahead to the next stop in hopes of reunited the pilgrim’s only other shoes. How sad for the poor one without these!

In hopes that I’m might coincidentally happen upon the pilgrim along The Way, I determined to carry them openly on my walking sticks.  Maybe, just maybe, the sorry pilgrim will see them and get reunited with them.

This proved to be quite a visual companion dangling on the tops of poles.  My wild imagination led me to consider that I may be walking in faith with a pilgrim who might be under the weight of a stony heart. He/she might even be one of the “I’m spiritual; I’m not religious.” In fact, that is the person to whom my words were directed. What would be my message to someone of this persuasion? What would you say?

I found my imagination engaged in a long and inviting dialogue.  I imagined myself listening tender-heartedly to how this belief system developed.  This included listening non-judgmentally. The source of some fallen away is that they were not and perhaps, never listened to. 

Then there is that “I’m in control” aspect. I directed my imaginary conversation to these dangling shoes. In truth, there is nothing in which we are in control. Nothing. All things are created by a Creator. The goodness discovered by the spirit, is in concert with a Father in heaven.  Whether we give credit or not, it is truth.

Then the conversation got deeper, if you might join my imaginary conversation with the shoes dangling off my poles.  Perhaps the retreat from religion, the perceived enemy of the spiritual is really a retreat from unresolved sin.  Maybe, just maybe, it is a death grip on pride.  Getting real with one’s sin is not always easy, but it is the only path toward freedom. Escaping into a “my way” spirit world does not provide freedom. It provides an illusion of freedom that is only found in God’s forgiveness. It is never found in the buffet spirit-of-choice.  The truth is the truth is the truth.  And God’s word and the practice of it is the only real way.  The God, my way is our own created mind candy (sorry, my words).

I continued along with my imaginary shoe friend, and I contemplated what I should do for him/her.  I prayed for my imaginary friend who holds fast to comfort in spirit only.  With no takers for the shoes, I did what a good friend would do. I went to church and prayed for them.  Then I took them to church. 

I arrived in Rabanal del Camino in a nasty cold rain and sleet with these shoes of my imaginary friend.  I gave them to God in prayer. I gave them to Jesus for his miracle touch. And I gave them to the Holy Spirit. 

Then I placed the shoes at the church door confident in the God is bigger than any limits that can be placed on Him.  Religion is not the enemy of the spirit, our limit on the life with the Holy Spirit

Fondly, Deacon Willie