14 September 2015
Roncesvalles,Spain
Hidden treasures
I set out for the infamously most difficult climb of the
Camino. It was the stretch from Orrisson, France to Roncesvalles, Spain. It was a grueling 3000 foot climb over the
Pyrenees Mts. The trip to the summit was
difficult made much more difficult by the weather. The temperatures dropped to
38 degrees with 30 mile an hour winds, and very cold rain and sleet. I
witnessed two ladies in their mid 70’s who came down with hypothermia. It was a startling and pitiful site.
Emergency vehicles arrived to rescue them. I prayed for them all day.
All the trip up I was looking for the beauty that I
experienced on my first Camino. There were panoramic views of the mountainside.
I looked for the experience of seeing mountain sheep peacefully grazing and who
would wander to the fence for a closer look.
And the monument of Mother Mary at the peak?! It was not to be seen. Not even the moment of great accomplishment
when you stood at the sign separating France from Spain. All of these treasures were buried in the
thick fog and low cloud cover. In fact, the beauty of God’s glory and creation
that I came to expect to see once again was unseeable.
I knew His glory existed because I saw it once before. I stood in awe at His creation two years ago. I knew it was there. I stood in the very spot
that I knew it existed. I came to accept
this experience as God’s hidden treasures.
Faith told me they were present, but my eyes could not see them.
I did not waste time fretting over what did not happen or
what expectations I lost. I was blessed
with a memory of faith that gave me as a comfort. That is not always the pattern of my life
journey. How easy it is to get fixated
on re experiencing a gift God has once given. All the same ritual and procedure
was followed. There was sacrifice as a holy way to approach the same experience. Others may have shared their routine toward
receiving the grace which you followed ritually. Every effort was done the same way as the past
experience but the result seemed empty.
So what happened? It
is said that God will purposely withdraw these wonderful experiences in order
to help us learn to separate His gifts from the giver of gifts. Our human condition can get fixated on these
gifts. I’ve heard these gifts identified by many as “a holy experience, a touch
of the Holy Spirit, a reverent cleansing, a divine joy, inexplicable peace, an
overflowing of His love, a divine inspiration, and the list can go on and on.
Saints and inspired writings identify this empty experience
as something necessary so that we truly can separate the gifts from the giver
of gifts. This is so we grow in our devotion and love of Him, the Creator of
all good things from His treasures. As
we continue on in faith many experience a weening period toward this more
mature faith. Sadly, too many abandon the faith when the gifts are not ‘felt.’
I had this reminder today in the Pyrenees. All of the costs, sacrifices, fervent prayer
for this benefit on the most difficult stretch of the Camino was lost in the
clouds. Literally.
Adding to this, the heavy rain and sleet ran downhill. This made the final descent of 20 degrees
grade over 3 km a kneeful pain. It also made it treacherous. I fell on a
slippery rock covered in mud. My elbow
caught my fall in a delightful track of very mushy mud. I was safe, praise God.
In reflection of the draining exertion, fatigue, and loss of
“treasures” that marked my highlights on the Camino today, I took solace in the
fact that God was watching every step I was taking. His treasures were hidden,
but his love and protection is always present.
When prayers seem to bounce off the ceiling, when there
seems to be nothing felt from prayers, when all the religious rituals don’t
make sense, when it gets to the point when we want to shout out, “I don’t get
anything out of this!” Stay the course
and walk on in faith. The giver of gifts has a storehouse of his unimaginably
‘perfect’ hidden treasures ideally prepared for YOU.
My inspiration was fueled all this day by my fervent prayers
for Britany Lamson. I wrote of her on 13
September as the young mother who was a victim of cancer. Which is harder to endure? Rain, cold, mountain
climbing, overwhelming fatigue or cancer?
People fast or accept self-sacrifice as prayer routine and love
offering.
I offer my entire day for Britany, her soul in eternity, and
her family.
Fondly,
Deacon Willie, DW
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