"Recalculating"

1 October 2015

Caldadilla de la Cueza

“Recalculating”

It has been two days of flat, level trails, and I’ve had the most blessed company.  During the day I walked with the two wonderful Brazilians, Jeff and Andreia. It was more counseling stories and advice seasoned with lots of laughter.  I really treasured their company.  I also have been staying at albergues that two new wonderful friends have been arranging by reservation.  They are Tom and Norma Hearn from Las Vegas.  I tend to walk much faster in the day so I hold the bottom bunks for us as I arrive, then we share conversation and meals in the evening. Good teamwork!

I am eager to share the conversation I had with Jeff and Andreia that has had two days now to marinate. They make use of a body of research used in counseling that is called “Drivers.”  These are the 5 Drivers that operate distinctly in people’s outlook and motivation in how they conduct their life.

Perfection

Hurry up

Try hard

Be pleasant so that you will like me

Be strong

 

In a simplistic way, the research suggests that people have a tendency to have at least two of these “Drivers” operating in their life at any given time.  As they explained, none of these “Drivers” are inherently bad.  We have a natural tendency toward any and all of these. They evolve within us due to our past experiences, family upbringing, and in past successes using the “Driver” as an effective tool in managing through life.

All of us, at one time or another, get overconsumed with a “Driver” in our life.  Doing a work correctly gets escalated into doing work “Perfectly.” Project after project grows with such importance that we exaggerate the need for the results to be nothing short of “perfect.”

Hurry up is a “Driver” that goes beyond finishing in a timely fashion to the point of operating at a frantic pace of hurry, hurry, hurry with each activity in life.  The faster pace of accomplishing more and more things becomes almost a drug. When things are being accomplished at impressive speeds, it excites us to point that we act like race car drivers with our “To Do” lists. This “Driver” artificially pushes and stresses the day. We can hate the Hurry Up pace, but something within says, “I’ll never survive all of the demands on my life unless I “Hurry!”

Who could not agree that to “Try Hard” is not a respectable and valued manner of operating through life?  Where it becomes a “Driver” is when tasks that are realistically way too much to for one to accomplish is looked at as achievable if I but only “Try Hard, or Harder.”  Work load at work doubles due to downsizing, pressure from family to help beyond time availability, home projects that must be done by a time limit, and overwhelmingly physically demanding tasks are some examples. Out of love for another or fierce dedication the “Driver” successfully consumes us to believe that only “Trying Hard, or Harder” will bring success.

The “Driver: Be Pleasant” might sound confusing.  This good quality becomes a “Driver” when “Pleasantness” becomes a mode of operation only so that you will like me or think so highly of me.  It becomes an obsession with being so nice, no matter what is happening within me, so that you can only see me as such a good person.  The “Driver” pushes from within largely so that the person will hear other say, “Oh how nice, how sweet, what a beautiful person he/she is.” Being “Pleasant” is driven out of fear someone might discover an example of unpleasantness and ruin the reputation.

“Be strong” is an inspirational calling.  Strength is admired and people will pay whatever cost to grow strong.  Where it becomes a “Driver” is when one displays a false front in order to prove that he/she is strong.  We could be sick with cancer, have a death or grieving in which to cope, overwhelming personal stress and challenges, but the “Driver” within says, “No time for those personal weaknesses. Just be strong.”

Have any of these “Drivers” resonated within you? As I learned of them I recognized a need for a new 12 Step Program. Imagine the meeting of Drivers Anonymous. “Hello. My name is Willie and I’m a Driver.” Now you. Repeat after me. “My name is (insert your name). And I’m a Driver.”

What can be done when I’ve come to admit the truth that one of the “Drivers” is or has been consuming aspects of my life? You have a destination for your life programmed on your heart’s GPS.  The truth of one of these “Drivers” has been barking with each wrong turn, “Recalculating.” Maybe you’ve done what I’ve done: Kept “Driving” through more side roads, back alleys, and sometimes hit the superhighway barreling in the wrong direction.

The insights on “Drivers” has done for me what I pray it will do for you. Stop and listen to your heart’s GPS. It may also be screaming, “Recalculating!” I have been consumed by the Drivers of Perfection and Try Hard to exaggerated frenzies in my life.  Once again, the elements in the list are not evil in them self.  What is damaging is how slyly I/we fall prey to being driven by them.

First, I must admit the Driver is me. These five elements become destructive at my own hands.

Second, I need to listen carefully to where my heart’s GPS is screaming “Recalculating.”  I can and should ask someone who loves and cares about me to help me see how I got misdirected.

Third, I find answers in the healthy spiritual drivers in the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5:3-12. I can be blessed when I’m perfectly driven to be poor in spirit, perfectly driven toward meekness, to be strong enough to mourn, to be strong in the cause of righteousness, to be authentically pleasant only to make peace, to hurry up in the desire to be clean of heart.

These Jesus proverbs in the Beatitudes are holy Drivers for my/our life. I/we need only to listen to the heart’s GPS to hear His voice beckoning, “Recalculating.”

Redirected in Him,

Deacon Willie, DW