20 May 2013

Rebiero, east of Sarria

OCD
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Buen Camino

Today was the famed climb to O'Cebiero. The walk was filled with adventure and insights. I'll admit its reputation had to much of my attention. The nasty little surprise was that there was not one strong climb, but two. The second was a brutal 2km stiff climb at a 40 degree incline. I felt I was leaning straight for my toes.

As for the day, praise God, there was no rain. The sky was partly cloudy and there was only an occasional nippy breeze in the mid 40's to bite at our fingers and cheeks. Not bad.

The walk was a 700m ascent over about 8km after the 2km approach. The trail was abundantly strewn with all my beloved rocks and boulders stuck in lots of mud. Fortunately, the mud was semi dry which reduced the slippage. So very grateful for that. I've been so consumed with all the opportunities to slip on a rock and break something. This was confirmed by a pilgrim I met yesterday from Waukegan who did the camino last year. He got about this far and slipped on loose rocks on the trail, broke a foot, and was denied the walk into Santiago. He's back again to complete the mission.

Today, we walked km after km, step by step in a stiff climb. Watch your step, look where to place your foot with a secure footing, navigating through large, slippery, mud puddles, plant your poles in mud, not on rock where your pole will slip behind you and you'll lose your grip, stop for a breather on occasion for lung need and yet keep a walking progress. These are just some of the step by step compulsive thoughts that occupied my every step. You'd think all you had to do was just walk on the camino. NO WAY. Each step has a potential fall.

It that wasn't enough, there were the many pilgrims you encountered on the camino that walked at so many different paces. Walking behind them you had to pay attention whether they were struggling and would sway back and forth the width of the trail. Then, there were many young 20 somethings that passed at a humbling pace. Giving them space to fly by was something that needed attention and respect.

Then there was the fact that this trail was shared by those who ride horses up and down this stretch of the camino. Because I was obsessed with a study at my feet for every step and every loose boulder/stone to that I might trip upon, I also had to be ever vigilant for the 'deposits.' One poor beast must have gotten into a case of ex-lax before his camino ride. There was such an abundance of the deposits. Not only did one have to hop-scotch-jump between rocks, but also the horse deposits and slippery mud puddles. And there was no "SKY BLUE" free spots along the way. This was only part of the adventure with what these animals left for the trail. The smell would rival a latrine at a state park during an August summer, sunny day. Sometimes it nearly gaged me.

You may be getting the picture of the strain my climb had on me. I was full blown Obsessed Compulsively Disordered. So overly attentive on where 'I' was going.

Somewhere near the peak at O'Cebiero, I awoke to where God was taking me. It was a scene from the movie, "Sound of Music." The mountain landscape was breathtakingly gorgeous. Far in the distance was a close up view of snowy mt peaks, valleys of patchwork farms, a cloud-line just above the peaks, and a stunning palette of so many lively shades of green. I've seen the Rocky Mts, the Canadian Rockies, the Andes Mts of S.A. This was far superior to their beauty.

Once I got my eyes off my boots, and where I was going, I awoke to where God was taking me. I was literally captured by this scene. It was the kind of panorama that makes one gasp for air and exhale an "Oh My God!" Here I was so transfixed on the minutia of my day, that I lost the beauty of God's beauty around me.

Do you hear the lesson God gave me today, Carinos? That was the lesson I experience today. I heard the echoes of so many days I've had OCD with where 'I' wanted to go. So many days I have spent almost obsessive over my agenda, what I "needed' to get done, how compulsive I have been about getting everything on my day's 'to do list' conquered, how overly attentive to the 'manure' that was left in my path, and how unfair it was to navigate around this needless mess. After such a long, strenuous climb of where I wanted to go, I was 'heaven shocked' to awaken to where God wanted me to go.

All I had to do was first admit that it's not 'all about me.' In my busy, big-boy, important days that's easy to forget. Secondly, I need to get my attention off my feet and to the beauty around me. God's beauty and beautiful people are right before me, IF I would only take that a pause and breath it in.

And when I'm not sure where He's taking me, I can just ask Him. "Where are you taking me today, Lord? What do you want me to learn right now? Please show me."

I believe He LOVES these kinds of mid-course-day prayers. He's our Dad and so wants to give us reminders of all the love and care He has prepared along our day's path for me/ us.

My OCD stole the joy of where God was taking me today. Don't let it rob you of where God is inviting you.

The view is breath-taking.

Upcoming:
30k from Sarria
A comfortable walk tomorrow

Carinosamente,

Deacon Willie