9 May 2013

Carrion de las Condes
20k

Uncomfortable

Buen Camino

We left our wonderful albergue early this morning for what we thought would be a simple descent through more meseta. It started out in a heavy mist, turned to heavy, cold drizzle, then spent the day as a long, cold, steady rain. There were no places open for a stop for coffee or even to sit for a rest. We had to hoof it nonstop all 20k to the town.

I was accustom to the distance, but it was a challenge to walk that nonstop in such rain. I found myself doing some self talk to move ahead. I kept saying,"Just one more step. Just one more step. One more. One more."

I arrived at the town well before the good bishop and Joyce. Waited an hour in the rain for them under the first canopy available. No luck. On I went to where I remember there was a convent of nuns who run an albergue. Luck had it this is where I landed. Minutes later, Eric and Joyce arrived. This place has a great reputation because the nuns, in their habits, are particularly kind, AND they do a singing performance for the pilgrims. It was grt fun.

As I talked myself forward today, the "one more step" idea intrigued me. I kept rethinking it. "That's what it takes to grow faith. Just taking, "one more step." To go beyond what's comfortable, what I'm certain I can do, what I've agreed I could do and should do. No. To step beyond what's comfortable. If I only do what is in my abilities and comforts, what do I need God for? Then I'm playing God.

Just one more step. One more. One more. One more.

It's that easy, and it's that rewarding. One more step closer to peace. One more step closer to His purpose. One more step for His glory.

I've had good conversations as spiritual director and in counsel with some who are not sure if they can or are ready to embrace a bigger belief in God. "I don't know if I'm ready. Don't know if I'm ready to give up what I really like to do. I'm still young. Maybe when I'm older. I don't want to be like "him" or "her" if that's what following God is all about. Or, the ugly: I don't like 'this' or 'that' about the church or what it stands for.

Some have said, "I just don't 'feel' it.

For all who have mind wrestled some of these thoughts, I'd suggest these thoughts given to me today.
1. Don't try to take it all in at once. So many of the "I don't knows" are part of any relationship. We don't need to know all about God to enjoy a bigger embrace with God. We're still his kids, yes. Kids learn about their parents love over a lifetime. Give it time.
2. I've heard some who are attentive to not "feeling" the faith. Some are concerned that they'd be acting like a hypocrite. Better to hide in doubt in faith than to be discovered as a cheat or imposter. This is logical, but leaves one empty. It is like having one foot in two different canoes. Indecision is a decision without rewards.

I'd suggest acting on the faith that you do have. However, take just "one more step" into the uncomfortable. You'll be surprised. One more step will open up more faith, and you'll be surprised. The feelings will come. Much later in faith, you'll realize that feelings are not needed at all. Just Him.

For those open for a challenge and treat, I listened to Rich Mullin's song, "Sometimes, step by step." I had to listen to it twice to let it penetrate. I walked along in rain and dreary weather on a level gravel path with my arms outstretched, raised to heaven, singing my lungs out to God. Try it. It is a glorious prayer time. However, pick a sunny day.

Carinos, my insight today was this: it's never uncomfortable if it's "just one more step"closer to Him.

Upcoming:
28K walk on level elevation
So grateful for the sinus infection relief. Prayers work.

Carinosamente,

Deacon Willie